Bruises to prove by MikeE ~ Photos by Longs Drugstore disposable

So, what's a fun camp? It's a place, for starters, to have fun. I tried to remember this as I slid along on my head, butt and side for the 50th time in two days…

This camp is GP God, Rich Oliver's way of letting the mere mortal take a peek into what it takes to be a top professional motorcycle athlete. Yes, I said athlete. Hey, It's not all about twisting the loud handle till it hits the stop (although that does help) Coming to this camp proves you want to learn your craft and be the best you can be.

To see how good Rich is about doing things properly you only have to look at what he's achieved in his professional career to date, and of course, who has taken his five day Mystery Camp. You see everyone wants to know the secrets of a winner. It's more than just a guy in leathers with his name on the back… much more.

I knew I was in trouble though the second I arrived, I was handed a nutrition evaluation form and asked to list exactly what I'd eaten in the last 24 hours. I reflected back to the totally irresponsible breakfast that I'd just eaten that consisted of a nice greasy Micky D, egg McMuffin and a nasty black coffee, a futile attempt to rid myself of the blur from the previous evening's alcohol that consisted of several Red Bull and Vodka's consumed in a Fresno nightclub that just happened to be adjacent to my hotel.

I originally went down to complain about the noise (sic) and ended staying till three AM, partially due to the ratio of girls to guys (3:1) and partially because that's what real racer athletes do (Barry Sheene/Randy Mamola, not forgetting Gary Nixon too). My dinner prior to that alcohol binge was reasonable healthy, a chicken breast at a local Jazz club followed by a not so sensible RB and V. Lunch? I couldn't even remember… prolly a Red Bull and Vodka (hic).

I took the form from Rich, tried to be totally honest with this new and "fresh" start in my motorcycle career and hoped he wouldn't see my bloodshot eyes. The forms were to be reviewed by Rich's trainer and nutritional expert Sean Edin. I hadn't even met Sean yet and I was embarrassed. Apparently you are what you eat (and drink) and I shall now be referred to as Mr (F)red Bull.

Seriously, what does it take to be a roadracing champion like Uncle Rich? Well, my two-wheel-freak, is it the ability to Focus? Is it self-discipline? Good work ethic? Super-duper hand eye coordination? Fitness? Exemplary diet? Or all of the above? Rich takes you on a mini course of drills and lessons to help you build the basics of good riding skills with some good and proper lifestyle habits thrown in for good measure.

Rich's "crib" is a big self built and extremely sophisticated home built on the side of a healthy sized mountain just outside the night club capital of the world, Fresno. His front lawn is the stuff of dreams. It's a multiple configuration of dirt tracks, superTT courses and motocross courses. The set up is freshly manicured on a daily basis by Rich's neighbors, Rich's students and by, of course, Sir Richard himself.

We were also given a tour of the property, handed a sports drink and told to change into our riding gear. We were then shown some basic stretches to help to warm up our riding muscles and pointed towards a brace of XR120's. The use of mini bikes is greatly underestimated; everything we learned on these bikes was directly transferable to the real thing. Be it flat track, motocross or anything. It's much more empowering riding the pee out of a smaller vehicle rather than a bigger one riding the pee out of you.